there's no cure for being a cunt: Archive

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i ate too many cookies. again. stab me in the… I ate: stalichniy salat, burachniy salat, deviled eggs, borek, pasht’et and topped that with buckets of tea and птичье молоко. everything hurts GURL. I’m doing the whole new years schtick right now and I ALSO had stalichniy salat (but with a spiced sour cream this time, it was quite better than mayo), shto burachniy salat? shto...

Jan 1st

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halfstrippedtrees replied to your post: I had to look up OMG. I READ ABOUT THAT FREAKING POTATO. CAN’T UN-KNOW. Dude, sweet potatoes, or any other root vegetable really, have no place to be in a vagina. Potatoes, carrots, parsnips, turnips - no. No corn. Nothing that looks remotely like a penis. I think certain berries would be acceptable - like strawberries and raspberries. Starfruit I think...

Dec 31st

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I had to look up

what cunnilingus meant (although I had a very strong hunch come on now) and of course wikipedia and I. cannot. stop. laughing. because like it’s all so official and hilarious Honestly, you should all read it because it’s extremely informative.

Dec 31st

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“If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they...”

– Terry Pratchett (via enlightenedbombshell)

Dec 31st

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i ate too many cookies. again. stab me in the stomach please

Dec 31st

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Dec 30th

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Alright so you wanted more things about armenian...

Well. I hated it y’all. It was boring. We learned the same bullshit every year (blah blah Vartan Mamikonian led us in a rebellion against the Persians in some small number A.D. and even though we lost because it was 66,000 against 300,000 we really won because we kept our religion blah blah we totally lost though and Gregory the Illuminator dreamed about Jesus coming down to him and so he...

Dec 30th

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I think

the leadership of Armenian Karabakh had obviously watched this Eddie Izzard clip. Nagorno-Karabakh has claimed itself as an independent nation-state. Knowing it would have difficulty proving their legitimacy to the international community, the first thing they did was make a flag: But do you have a flag? WHY YES - WE DO HAVE A FLAG. Granted we just fiddled with Armenian flag but WE HAVE ONE.

Dec 30th

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

WOW BOARDWALK WOOOOWWW WOW w o w i am…impressed…

Dec 30th

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OH MAH SHIT

BOARDWALK JUST FUCKING PULLED SOME GEORGE RR MARTIN SHIT

Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Watch

First, watch this, so you’ll understand that.

Dec 30th

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discountliquor asked: Following you was described as "one of the wisest decisions of my life." So, no pressure or anything.

Dec 29th

Anonymous asked: What is your favourite tv show? Or your top 5 shows?

Dec 28th

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Dec 28th

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“Do you know how many penis jokes on Tumblr you’ve made in the last week?...”

– Anita

Dec 28th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

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Somehow I think I already knew this.

apio: President Bartlett: You got a best friend? Roger: Yes sir. Bartlett: Is he smarter than you? Roger: Yes sir. Bartlett: Would you trust him with your life? Roger: Yes sir. Bartlett: That’s your chief of staff. So in the alternate universe where I entered politics, Janet’s my chief of staff. Good to know. But really, let’s take a minute here. Could you imagine? You probably...

Dec 27th

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I just gave 7 tries

at spelling “consonant” correctly. I finally googled it. Do you know what I googled? “constanant” … that’s the best I could do after 7 tries. One letter extra (I COULD’VE SWORN THERE WAS A T IN THAT WORD) and one letter wrong. How did I even get this far in life?

Dec 27th

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evansknight: My dad is at Eckerd in line behind Shane from Walking Dead. I feel like there are people who follow me who will appreciate this. #hey i just have one thing to buy #could i get in front of you? #or on top of you? #or anywhere really but seeing as i’m a girl i’m pretty useless behind you… #be a gentleman #CUM. ON.

Dec 27th

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Anonymous asked: Question! I just found out that my uncle's girlfriend is Armenian (what are the odds, right?), and her last name is stumping me. It's Keurajian, which presumably comes from Keuraji (kuraci?). Any thoughts? Could it be a variant spelling of Kradjian?

Dec 27th

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Գալիս եմ դուռդ

Գալիս եմ դուռդ իբրև մերկ աղքատ, Մի լինիր անսիրտ, եղիր գթառատ, Ողորմած էիր, ինչո՞ւ քարացար, Խղճով ու սրտով մի՞թե կուրացար: Մեջս կյանք չմնաց, Հալվեց, մաշվեց, գնաց, Առանց քեզ չի փայլի Աստղը իմ կենաց: Դուն հրեշտակ ես, չքնա’ղ դիցուհի, Բոլոր սիրունաց սիրուն թագուհի, Քեզ պիտի երգեմ, յա՜ր, քեզ հավիտյան, Մինչև քո ձեռքով ղրկես գերեզման: I am at your door, bare as a beggar - don’t be...

Dec 27th

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FINALLY

DOWNTON FINALLY Matthew is how not be a douchebag, Branson is how to be a douchebag.

Dec 27th

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Dec 26th

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Dec 26th

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Dec 26th

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There's a

very active Armenian church in Queens called “Holy Martyrs” (well, Armenian Church of the Holy Martyrs) but since none of the Armenians speak English very well, they say “Holy Martin’s,” as if it’s a bar or something. Pronounced Hollee Marteenz.

Dec 26th

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We made

some progress today. Christmas day dinner - after singing armenian songs, my dad asked me to sing a turkish one, and then I got my grandma to sing a turkish one.

Dec 26th

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my cousins and I

were playing a game on miniclip (forest temple). The game restarts itself automatically only if one of the players falls into the poisoned pond. Otherwise, if you mess up irrevocably some other way, you need to press the “retry game” button. Of course, we hadn’t scrolled down to see this retry button so we thought the only way we could restart the game was by killing ourselves....

Dec 25th

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Dec 25th

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Dec 25th

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Dec 25th

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Tom Hanks > Tom Hanks’ son.

Dec 25th

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heshallfromtimetotime replied to your post: evansknight replied to your video: VERY MERRY HOLY… Somehow mistook that for “Thorin Cakenshield” and got really perplexed/excited. evansknight replied to your post: evansknight replied to your video: VERY MERRY HOLY… thorin cakenshield sounds like the best possible hobbit/baking mashup cosplay character of all time. harpy replied to your...

Dec 25th

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evansknight replied to your video: VERY MERRY HOLY MOLY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. EVERYONE… and i’m supposed to take this guy seriously as thorin oakenshield? come ON! This is one man you do not judge, Evans. I shan’t have that.

Dec 25th

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Dec 25th

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darkish chocolate covered pretzels

i dont think i’d ever tried them. I don’t know how that happened. But I bought some from the organic store near me house. And they’re sweet. And salty. And crunchy. And. …Merry Christmas everyone.

Dec 25th

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“We are two sick nations: Armenians and Turks. Towards one another. The Armenians...”

– Hrant Dink (via writepudding)

Dec 25th

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WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

SEASON FINALE OF DEXTER LIKE THIS ENTIRE SHITTY SEASON FOR ONE PURE MOMENT OF GOLD FUCKED UP HYPERVENTILATING PEE IN MY PANTS GOLD. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT

Dec 24th

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My Man by Billie Holiday (cover by Regina Spektor)

Dec 24th

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Dec 24th

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Dec 23rd

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The last supper according to Eddie Izzard

Alright lads, Leonardo Da Vinci’s painting the picture. Everyone get into position. Jesus, why are you doing the ~big arms~ thing? I dunno, I just thought I’d do the big arms thing… Well, I’m gonna do the big arms thing as well! Yeah, me too! Look, we can’t all do big arms! We’ll look like a squadron of spitfires for fuck’s sake. I’ll do big...

Dec 23rd

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